A Christmas Wish
by Crystal Volcheck
Summary: Set in the "Love At First Bite" verse but works as a stand alone- It's Dean and Benny's first Christmas together. And Dean wants to spend it with family, however, Sam has a different idea of who's family (guess he didn't listen to Bobby about family not ending in blood). So with Christmas just around the corner, Dean only has one thing on his wish list.


**Another installment of "Love at First Bite" takes place before the first two in the series, but works as a stand alone.**

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><p>Dean threw his phone across the room, oddly satisfied when he heard the snap crack of plastic against drywall. He had spent three hours on the phone trying to convince Sam to spend Christmas with him and Benny, but his brother was set on Dean either flying to California to celebrate the holidays with him or staying in Nebraska with Benny. It made him sick that Sam wanted him to choose, it wasn't like Benny was just some fuck buddy. In the first few weeks that Benny helped him get back on his feet they had become so much more, helping to put each other back together. But ever since Sam had met Benny he had made it clear that he disliked and didn't trust the older man. Granted, Dean could understand Sam's hesitation since Benny didn't have the cleanest past. That alone was enough to make Sam suspicious, the 10 year age difference just sealed the deal.<p>

"Maybe I will be returning a few presents after all."

Benny's drawl startled Dean and he turned to see his boyfriend standing just outside of the hallway with the broken cell phone in hand.

"Sorry." Dean grinned sheepishly, forgetting that they were on a bit of a budget and a new phone wasn't exactly affordable at the moment.

"Calm down, cher, there ain't nothing to be sorry about. Why don't you get tell me what's got you so worked up?"

"Sam wants me to choose between you and him for Christmas." Dean sighed heavily and leaned into Benny's touch. It wasn't fair, this was one of the few times he had actually been looking forward to Christmas, but now it was ruined. The whole damn holiday could be cancelled as far as he was concerned.

"I can tell he's a younger brother alright, but he's your brother and that means there's no reason for you to not go see him if he won't come here because of me." Benny continued to rub small circles over Dean's back. He hated seeing Dean like this, it reminded him too much of the day Dean came into the diner for a last meal that he didn't have quite enough money to pay for. As well as all the nights that Dean had broken down in front of him confused and scared by his act of kindness that required nothing in return.

"I'm not going to leave you alone during Christmas, especially not our first Christmas together." That was one thing Dean was determined to never happen again. Since he knew that while he had more than enough shitty Christmases at least he had Sam or Dad through most of them.

"It wouldn't be the first time I've spent Christmas alone."

That statement made Dean's stomach twist. It wasn't fair. How could he be expected to choose between Benny and Sam? He loved Benny, the man had saved his life and showed him kindness when he had least expected it. "You shouldn't have to spend Christmas alone anymore, I know Sam is family, but you're family too."

"Glad to know you think that, sugar, even if your brother doesn't. But why don't you think it over for a bit, after all while I might be a bit older than you I don't think this will be our last Christmas together." Benny leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Dean's lips, "who knows maybe Sam will warm up to me next year around this time."

"He broke your nose within an hour of meeting you."

"And I didn't press charges, which had to give me some brownie points."

Dean only chuckled in reply, but it was a half-hearted response. There were only two weeks before Christmas which meant he only had two weeks to figure out how to have Sam and Benny in the same room without killing each other.

The plan had been flawless in Dean's mind, Sam would come down and they'd spend Christmas Eve together and then Benny would come over for dinner the next day. It wasn't the perfect arrangement and Dean had had to weave an impressive little web of white lies, but he would get to spend as least of few hours of Christmas with both Benny and Sam. Unfortunately the universe still hated him and Benny, they had just finished a tense and quite awkward dinner where the only conversation was the back-handed compliments passed between Sam and Benny, when the phone rang and Benny had to make a trip to the diner to see if any pipes had burst after the two businesses on the same street were subjected to the same fate leaving Dean alone with a very unhappy younger brother.

"This was really dick move you pulled, lying to me about Benny going to Louisiana to visit his niece for Christmas?"

"I'm sorry, it was a dick think to do and I feel like total douche lying to you, but I've never asked you for anything Sam, until now and all I want is for you to accept that Benny and I are a thing."

"But for how long Dean? How long until he takes you for all that he can and ends it? Or how long until he snaps and takes a swing at you? I've seen what his records say, it's not safe to be with him Dean and I know you're only doing it because I ignored you the last time you came to visit me."

Dean couldn't help but flinch, the last time he had tried to visit Sam, he'd been hoping there had been one small chance Sam still needed him, but when Sam had told him that he didn't have time to tell Dean what to do and that with dad gone Dean should have started thinking for himself, it spurred him to go through with his plans of suicide. He didn't even know why he had bothered trying to get Sam to see him or why he even bothered trying to be happy. "You know what? I'm done. Just forget about Christmas because at this point I'd rather just celebrate it alone." Dean stormed out of the kitchen, grabbing his coat off the back of the couch and his keys off the counter, before flinging the front door open.

"Fine Dean, come back when you're ready to have a conversation like an adult." Sam spat as the door slammed shut. He felt like leaving earlier when Benny had showed up with a bottle of wine and pistachio pie, but he had ended up staying seeing Dean's face light up. It was something he hadn't seen for so long he had nearly forgotten what his brother looked like happy. But Benny had gotten under his skin and when the older man got a call that a pipe burst in the diner and had to leave to check the damage Sam thought he might have been able to talk some sense into Dean. But now, as the sound of the Impala's engine faded, Sam wanted nothing more than to go after his brother and apologize, however he knew it was best to just let Dean cool off.

"Don't tell me we ran out of beer already." Benny joked as he came through the door that Dean had gone through not long ago.

"No, but I imagine we'll need more whenever he decides to come back, not that it's really any of your business." Sam snapped at the older man ignoring the brief flash of hurt cross Benny's face.

"Considering, he's all I have, I'd say it's my business, now what happened?"

"I told Dean that I figured out the only reason he's with you is because I didn't have time for him the last time he came to visit me. But of course he doesn't want to face the truth and ran away like he's always done."

"Merde." Benny swore and turned around keys still in hand, knowing the one place Dean would go when he got worked up that wasn't a bar.

"Why are you so worried? Dean's probably at the nearest bar getting shit-faced."

"I want to believe that brother, but the day I met Dean, he'd come into the diner looking for his last meal. At the time he only told me that he'd lost his job, had five dollars to his name, and a brother that was better off without him." Benny didn't like thinking about that day, his heart had broken at the first sight of Dean stepping into the diner, holding his head up like he had a noose around his neck and was just waiting for the drop at any moment.

"Dean told me he quit."

"He didn't want you to see him as bigger failure than before and I only know that because he told me on one of several occasions where I had to literally talk him down from a ledge when he was drunk as a skunk. Now we can either stand here talking or we can go find Dean before he does something stupid." Benny snapped in return but he should have known better than to think that Dean had been honest with Sam over the exact details of how they ended up together.

They sat in silence for several minutes with Sam glancing over at Benny who was white-knuckle driving.

"You said Dean was looking for his last meal when he came into the diner, was he really going to."

"Kill himself?" Benny cut in and Sam flinched. "Yeah, I ended up talking to him for a few hours after it turned out he didn't even have enough cash to pay for a burger and coke. Apparently your daddy's funeral took just about everything he had, whatever he had left went into his trip to see you a few months back."

"I had no idea."

"From what I've figured, if he doesn't want you to know something, then you're not gonna know. Anyway, I convinced him to crash on my couch a few nights and while I was working he'd clean and cook, basically make himself useful. Sometimes I'd even find a project for him to do or an errand to run, he liked feeling like he was needed and wanted, though he was always waiting for the other shoe to drop."

Sam fell silence, unsure of how to respond to what Benny had said. He felt like a failure, he hadn't been there for his brother when his brother had needed him the most. It was only when Benny nudged his shoulder that he was shook free of his thoughts. Through the windshield he could see Dean perched on the hood of the Impala, shivering from the cold and looking out at the bridge ahead of them. He was out of the truck before Benny had even put it in park.

"Dean! Dean I'm sorry! Sorry I was an asshole to you and Benny! He told me everything on the drive." Sam shouted as he jogged over to the car.

The last bit caught Dean's attention and he looked at Sam with wide eyes full of fear as he echoed back through chattering teeth, "Everything?"

"Not everything, but enough. I didn't know, Dean, if I would have known I wouldn't have pushed you away like I did, but you were acting like everything was okay and I had my head so far up my as, plus school, that I couldn't see that you were far from okay."

"It's fine Sammy."

"No it's not, it's my fault. If I hadn't been such a dick you wouldn't be sitting here getting hypothermia."

"It's my fault, I shouldn't have lied to you to get you come down here. I was being selfish and thought I could actually have a decent Christmas for once."

"Now don't you start talking like that cher. It's not selfish to want your family to be together on Christmas and that's exactly what you're going to get this year." Benny joined the brothers, hoping that they could have a long talk when they got back to Dean's apartment.

"Yeah, that and frostbite so will you please comeback and spend Christmas with us, like you wanted to?"

"Alright, but you're going to have to drive Baby back, because I lost feeling in my fingers like 15 minutes ago." Dean tossed the keys as Sam and slipped off the hood of the car before making his way over to where Benny was standing.

"Why don't you head back, we'll catch up." Benny suggested and Sam only nodded in reply, trying not to stare as he watched his brother and Benny kiss each other softly between whispers. It looked like something out of a Lifetime movie, but not as cheesy and lot more intimate.

It was a good twenty minutes before he heard Benny's truck pull into the drive and Sam tried not to think about the implications of Dean and Benny's delay. However he was a bit grateful because there was a different tension filling the room when they entered the small apartment. Dean looked scared and ashamed while Benny just looked heartbroken. There was an unspoken agreement that Sam and Dean needed to have a long talk about the last several months.

Benny wasn't entirely certain what time it was that Dean slipped into bed next to him, but he knew it had to have been rather late, given that he had turned in around eight o'clock and had been sound asleep at one point.

"You okay sugar?" He asked turning over onto to his back so that Dean could curl up half on top of him as was their usual sleeping arrangement.

"Actually, I feel better now that Sam knows even though it's going to be rough for a while, but at the same time I still feel like shit for ruining Christmas."

"I wouldn't say it was ruined, if anything, what happened was something that was a long time coming."

"I guess and I think Sammy is starting to like you, I told him everything you did for me. Everything you still do for me."

"Darling there is not one thing in this world that I would not do for you." They kissed until they were both panting with swollen lips.

"I love you Benny."

"I know."

Dean let out a strangled sound, "I swear If Sam wasn't sleeping on the couch and these walls weren't paper thin, I'd ride you until you forgot how to speak English."

"There's always tomorrow, after all I didn't get to give you your present from all the excitement."

"Sounds good." Dean yawned and snuggled closer to Benny, exhausted from the overwhelming flood of emotions he had had to deal with. At one point during his talk with Sam they clung to each other and sobbed more than talked, but Benny had been right to say that it had been something a long time coming. He had just been about to drift off when another thought occurred causing him to burst out laughing and wake Benny.

"Care to share?"

"In a really fucked up way, I managed to get my Christmas wish. I got to both of you in the same room for an extended period of time without killing each other."

"Go to sleep, Dean."


End file.
